








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 847 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1239 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 778 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1782 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $954,237 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 53% | 169 |
| #2 | Pathogen | 52% | 140 |
| #3 | Frosted Cheerios | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 53% | 169 |
| #2 | Pathogen | 52% | 140 |
| #3 | Frosted Cheerios | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Pathogen | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Frosted Cheerios | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 479 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Pathogen | 398 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Frosted Cheerios | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pathogen | +2.77 | 69 | 46 |
| #2 | Panda | +1.49 | 77 | 51 |
| #3 | Jawa | -0.41 | 65 | 45 |
| #4 | Frosted Cheerios | -4.25 | 22 | 50 |





