








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 961 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2863 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4083 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5657 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4530 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,016,113 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WildMonky | 49% | 91 |
| #2 | Grottwald | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | MsJ | 42% | 36 |
| #4 | Klaus | 42% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WildMonky | 49% | 91 |
| #2 | Grottwald | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | MsJ | 42% | 36 |
| #4 | Klaus | 42% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WildMonky | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Klaus | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Grottwald | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | MsJ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WildMonky | 441 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | Klaus | 187 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | MsJ | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Grottwald | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klaus | +1.22 | 65 | 70 |
| #2 | WildMonky | +0.11 | 67 | 80 |
| #3 | Grottwald | -0.27 | 42 | 62 |
| #4 | Don' Nado | -0.53 | 25 | 77 |
| #5 | MsJ | -3.61 | 20 | 58 |





