








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2418 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2900 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2290 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3729 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,370,942 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ぞLele | 51% | 238 |
| #7 | Crowder | 50% | 36 |
| #8 | Tommi | 46% | 46 |
| #9 | evil mono | 45% | 53 |
| #10 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Ludo | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ぞLele | 18 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Sħαđσωзđ | 17 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | simovero | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | jack | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷Ludo | 6 | 0.0043 |





