








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1133 | 26% |
| Smokes | 678 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1417 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1107 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,272 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H A H N | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | ww | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Awper Misterioso | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | saudadews Csgou | 53% | 70 |
| #5 | felipetziiu | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | saudadews Csgou | 53% | 70 |
| #5 | felipetziiu | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | NHE | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | NINGUEM | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | Jay-Z | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saudadews Csgou | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Awper Misterioso | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | H A H N | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | NHE | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | felipetziiu | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saudadews Csgou | 150 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | H A H N | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | ww | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | NHE | 100 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | felipetziiu | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H A H N | +3.38 | 58 | 79 |
| #2 | NHE | +1.94 | 70 | 74 |
| #3 | NINGUEM | +1.46 | 59 | 67 |
| #4 | BatataSozinha | +0.80 | 61 | 45 |
| #5 | ww | +0.58 | 63 | 64 |





