








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1024 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6041 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4338 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2302 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3794 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,787 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Campo機器 | 60% | 169 |
| #2 | broky with alzheimers | 56% | 110 |
| #3 | sabre | 55% | 97 |
| #4 | m0nesy with rheumatoid arthritis | 51% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Campo機器 | 60% | 169 |
| #2 | broky with alzheimers | 56% | 110 |
| #3 | sabre | 55% | 97 |
| #4 | m0nesy with rheumatoid arthritis | 51% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | broky with alzheimers | 32 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | m0nesy with rheumatoid arthritis | 16 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Campo機器 | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | sabre | 9 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Campo機器 | 623 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | m0nesy with rheumatoid arthritis | 252 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | sabre | 195 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | broky with alzheimers | 193 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Campo機器 | +4.61 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | NZFrankie | +2.22 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | m0nesy with rheumatoid arthritis | -0.14 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | sabre | -0.24 | 87 | 49 |
| #5 | broky with alzheimers | -0.31 | 84 | 37 |





