








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 316 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1281 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1435 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1143 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,920 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 467 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z1ri | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | KONNA THE GOONER | 52% | 104 |
| #3 | Jyrsä (ice cold) | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z1ri | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | KONNA THE GOONER | 52% | 104 |
| #3 | Jyrsä (ice cold) | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyrsä (ice cold) | 12 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | KONNA THE GOONER | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Z1ri | 5 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KONNA THE GOONER | 262 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jyrsä (ice cold) | 139 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Z1ri | 103 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drake | +3.42 | 65 | 53 |
| #2 | Z1ri | +3.05 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | KONNA THE GOONER | -1.78 | 49 | 45 |
| #4 | Jyrsä (ice cold) | -2.49 | 40 | 34 |





