








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1927 | 39% |
| Smokes | 847 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1316 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 898 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,400 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XoDuS! | 45% | 51 |
| #2 | Fuck Israel |☛ーーつ | 41% | 17 |
| #3 | 1 ֆɦօȶ 1 ӄɨʟʟ | 41% | 69 |
| #4 | ꧁༺ⒻⓁⒶⓂⒺ ༻꧂ | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | D@rK LorD | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Fuck Israel |☛ーーつ | 41% | 17 |
| #3 | 1 ֆɦօȶ 1 ӄɨʟʟ | 41% | 69 |
| #4 | ꧁༺ⒻⓁⒶⓂⒺ ༻꧂ | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | D@rK LorD | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | Yato™ | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XoDuS! | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Fuck Israel |☛ーーつ | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XoDuS! | 157 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | 1 ֆɦօȶ 1 ӄɨʟʟ | 150 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Yato™ | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | ꧁༺ⒻⓁⒶⓂⒺ ༻꧂ | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fuck Israel |☛ーーつ | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 ֆɦօȶ 1 ӄɨʟʟ | +1.22 | 48 | 58 |
| #2 | ꧁༺ⒻⓁⒶⓂⒺ ༻꧂ | +0.69 | 55 | 58 |
| #3 | Fuck Israel |☛ーーつ | -0.59 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | XoDuS! | -0.73 | 48 | 62 |
| #5 | Angry Man | -1.00 | 49 | 61 |





