










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4960 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4419 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3919 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4110 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,193 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winthworth | 62% | 60 |
| #2 | BaronBill | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | sjoяs ^ ♥ | 55% | 89 |
| #4 | Margaret Thatcher | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | ✪ Josh | 52% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winthworth | 62% | 60 |
| #2 | BaronBill | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | sjoяs ^ ♥ | 55% | 89 |
| #4 | Margaret Thatcher | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | ✪ Josh | 52% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Josh | 21 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Winthworth | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | sjoяs ^ ♥ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Margaret Thatcher | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Josh | 1139 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #2 | sjoяs ^ ♥ | 203 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Winthworth | 114 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | BaronBill | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Margaret Thatcher | 19 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winthworth | +3.28 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | crEE | +0.92 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | sjoяs ^ ♥ | +0.76 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Margaret Thatcher | +0.21 | 75 | 33 |
| #5 | ✪ Josh | -0.92 | 67 | 57 |





