








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 380 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4208 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5644 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5464 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3968 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,304,322 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wicko | 52% | 288 |
| #2 | Nossy01 | 51% | 91 |
| #3 | Captn Jack | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | IPICKLESS | 27% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wicko | 52% | 288 |
| #2 | Nossy01 | 51% | 91 |
| #3 | Captn Jack | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | IPICKLESS | 27% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nossy01 | 20 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | wicko | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | IPICKLESS | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Captn Jack | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wicko | 655 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Nossy01 | 444 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | Captn Jack | 58 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | IPICKLESS | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j6keey | +1.07 | 63 | 56 |
| #2 | wicko | +0.06 | 77 | 55 |
| #3 | Nossy01 | -1.05 | 43 | 61 |
| #4 | Captn Jack | -1.70 | 47 | 52 |
| #5 | IPICKLESS | -4.63 | 8 | 25 |





