








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2362 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1702 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2161 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1591 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,993 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 564 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZUCIOUS | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | NemP | 55% | 69 |
| #3 | Kosmonavt | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | Irish ☘ | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | ReM | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kosmonavt | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | Irish ☘ | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | ReM | 45% | 53 |
| #6 | Qing | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | su001 | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReM | 9 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | NemP | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Kosmonavt | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Qing | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | ZUCIOUS | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qing | 320 | 0.40 | 7 min |
| #2 | ZUCIOUS | 152 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | ReM | 136 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | NemP | 131 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kosmonavt | 95 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ugrosnob! | +3.49 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | Qing | +2.51 | 53 | 69 |
| #3 | ReM | +1.83 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Irish ☘ | +1.20 | 87 | 58 |
| #5 | ZUCIOUS | -0.32 | 36 | 60 |





