








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 665 | 40% |
| Smokes | 374 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 116 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 504 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,320 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sa_Vy | 50% | 78 |
| #2 | Zenabyy | 42% | 85 |
| #3 | gerk | 41% | 61 |
| #4 | henry | 35% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sa_Vy | 50% | 78 |
| #2 | Zenabyy | 42% | 85 |
| #3 | gerk | 41% | 61 |
| #4 | henry | 35% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | henry | 22 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | sa_Vy | 19 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Zenabyy | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | gerk | 7 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sa_Vy | 343 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Zenabyy | 288 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | henry | 206 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | gerk | 164 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenabyy | +2.89 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | sa_Vy | +1.79 | 64 | 53 |
| #3 | henry | -0.36 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | encraft1 | -3.27 | 50 | 45 |
| #5 | gerk | -3.41 | 39 | 57 |





