








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1368 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2564 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1667 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2580 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,206 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ilya | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | GARBAGE | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ilya | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | GARBAGE | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GARBAGE | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Ilya | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GARBAGE | 211 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ilya | 69 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GARBAGE | +2.64 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | Yang Emily | +2.45 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Ilya | -0.35 | 86 | 58 |





