








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 95 | 18% |
| Smokes | 246 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 56 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 126 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $73,083 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benedict edward | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | 138 | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | The Noble Steed | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | 100219 | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | zran | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 100219 | 11 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | benedict edward | 5 | 0.0270 |
| #3 | 138 | 2 | 0.0465 |
| #4 | The Noble Steed | 1 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | The Evil Necromancer | 1 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 100219 | 72 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | zran | 41 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | benedict edward | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | The Evil Necromancer | 10 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | 138 | 9 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zran | +3.35 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | 100219 | +1.91 | 54 | 46 |
| #3 | lankles | +0.44 | 55 | 39 |
| #4 | The Noble Steed | -0.53 | 49 | 29 |
| #5 | The Evil Necromancer | -1.15 | 63 | 44 |





