








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 386 | 39% |
| Smokes | 302 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 206 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 92 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,315 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silanatury3 | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | olafix3 | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | Falato | 51% | 75 |
| #4 | scooby jew | 50% | 74 |
| #5 | silentzdzicho420 | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | olafix3 | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | Falato | 51% | 75 |
| #4 | scooby jew | 50% | 74 |
| #5 | silentzdzicho420 | 42% | 33 |
| #6 | nƃuıd | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falato | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | olafix3 | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | scooby jew | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | silanatury3 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scooby jew | 274 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | silanatury3 | 187 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | olafix3 | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Falato | 73 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | silentzdzicho420 | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Falato | +0.70 | 45 | 32 |
| #2 | MANUEL-_-NEUER | +0.68 | 64 | 42 |
| #3 | olafix3 | +0.44 | 45 | 54 |
| #4 | silanatury3 | -0.06 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | scooby jew | -0.81 | 35 | 60 |





