








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 829 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4935 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6484 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5101 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8952 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,016,553 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 969 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cudge | 56% | 73 |
| #2 | Lemon Man | 54% | 97 |
| #3 | b.unge | 49% | 49 |
| #4 | choc | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cudge | 56% | 73 |
| #2 | Lemon Man | 54% | 97 |
| #3 | b.unge | 49% | 49 |
| #4 | choc | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon Man | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | choc | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Cudge | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | b.unge | 6 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon Man | 325 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Cudge | 201 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | b.unge | 162 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | choc | 153 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon Man | +3.08 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | choc | +1.67 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | Cudge | +0.57 | 44 | 53 |
| #4 | b.unge | +0.47 | 63 | 51 |
| #5 | PowerfulDrop | -0.37 | 48 | 51 |





