










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Esplay | 129 matches | 1,809 | |
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2089 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2147 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1984 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2596 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,854,470 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1014 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juliana | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | KNASTER | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | VinQ | 54% | 98 |
| #4 | Dan ツ | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | ✪ Mistermaker | 49% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juliana | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | KNASTER | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | VinQ | 54% | 98 |
| #4 | Dan ツ | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | ✪ Mistermaker | 49% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VinQ | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | KNASTER | 8 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | ✪ Mistermaker | 6 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Mistermaker | 829 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | VinQ | 180 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dan ツ | 103 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | KNASTER | 89 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Juliana | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KNASTER | +2.84 | 71 | 58 |
| #2 | Juliana | +1.41 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | VinQ | +1.39 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Pudd | +0.35 | 58 | 47 |
| #5 | ✪ Mistermaker | -0.05 | 73 | 65 |





