








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1643 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2038 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1487 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 771 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,708 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 485 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SAD3S | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Mortis | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | tom | 43% | 35 |
| #7 | grimbor.007 | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | ninou | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glacoon | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Le Colonisateur | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | grimbor.007 | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | tom | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Mortis | 2 | 0.0029 |





