








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 850 | 37% |
| Smokes | 667 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 263 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 491 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,597 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ex | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | FRY DADDY | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | ModernIngot | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | thimburr | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Super Sissy Sniper | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FRY DADDY | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | ModernIngot | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | thimburr | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | Super Sissy Sniper | 43% | 42 |
| #6 | SUPER MARIO SUPER SHOW | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Sissy Sniper | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | ModernIngot | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Ex | 1 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ModernIngot | 137 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Super Sissy Sniper | 124 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | thimburr | 37 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ex | 23 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | SUPER MARIO SUPER SHOW | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thimburr | +1.49 | 46 | 68 |
| #2 | Ex | +1.12 | 54 | 70 |
| #3 | ModernIngot | +0.29 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | Frenzy | -0.18 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | Super Sissy Sniper | -0.74 | 71 | 53 |





