








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3502 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3057 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3835 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2854 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $658,567 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆KgB☆♚☆FEAR☆.☆DE☆ | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ★★ C H E N N A I ★ ★ | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | ☆KgB☆♚☆FEAR☆.☆DE☆2 | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Señor Vac | 5 | 0.0125 |
| #5 | fr0st | 4 | 0.0012 |





