








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15648 | 37% |
| Smokes | 10806 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7676 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 8398 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,751,926 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4711 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 2023 Nissan Patrol Ti-L Y62 | 52% | 727 |
| #6 | Canadian Club | 50% | 161 |
| #7 | AliExpress AW ✪ | 49% | 258 |
| #8 | 2013 VW Multivan TDI 400 | 47% | 286 |
| #9 | Double Jack | 38% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2023 Nissan Patrol Ti-L Y62 | 73 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | VIKTOR VAUGHN | 31 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Double Jack | 18 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | 2013 VW Multivan TDI 400 | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Slippin Jimmy | 14 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2023 Nissan Patrol Ti-L Y62 | 2180 | 0.16 | 46 min |
| #2 | NotNeon | 615 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Slippin Jimmy | 405 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | VIKTOR VAUGHN | 381 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #5 | Double Jack | 372 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutcupper3000 | +3.81 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | VIKTOR VAUGHN | +1.83 | 48 | 61 |
| #3 | 2023 Nissan Patrol Ti-L Y62 | +1.08 | 46 | 54 |
| #4 | NotNeon | -0.20 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | Slippin Jimmy | -1.51 | 25 | 47 |





