








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 519 | 33% |
| Smokes | 350 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 424 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 287 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,345 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naja ⛟ | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Z | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | All luck no skill | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | dr1zzle | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Rocko McLongcock | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocko McLongcock | 4 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | dr1zzle | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Naja ⛟ | 1 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Z | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z | +5.74 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Rocko McLongcock | +3.40 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | Naja ⛟ | +1.51 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | All luck no skill | -0.23 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | V1ce | -0.26 | 69 | 63 |





