








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 759 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 515 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 1,677 | |
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4143 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4246 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3897 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1271 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,303 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Painal | 61% | 76 |
| #2 | JJ大 [TFC] | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | Jason | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Electro | 51% | 189 |
| #5 | AzumGirl | 49% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ooga | 48% | 191 |
| #7 | Kaze | 48% | 42 |
| #8 | MØήEx | 45% | 56 |
| #9 | KingOfSwedistan | 43% | 63 |
| #10 | Jockebror | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ooga | 30 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | AzumGirl | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | KingOfSwedistan | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Kaze | 8 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Electro | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Electro | 572 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kaze | 281 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jockebror | 150 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | AzumGirl | 139 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | ooga | 96 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕♥Complicated♥♕ | +1.43 | 54 | 43 |
| #2 | MØήEx | +1.23 | 59 | 48 |
| #3 | ooga | +0.46 | 68 | 41 |
| #4 | Electro | +0.20 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | JJ大 [TFC] | +0.14 | 73 | 55 |





