








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 911 | 40% |
| Smokes | 705 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 418 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 231 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,010 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emilybuddy | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | シ | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | KillThyThee | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | JearStar | 52% | 82 |
| #5 | jimmeh | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emilybuddy | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | シ | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | KillThyThee | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | JearStar | 52% | 82 |
| #5 | jimmeh | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillThyThee | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | JearStar | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | シ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JearStar | 547 | 0.33 | 15 min |
| #2 | KillThyThee | 230 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | シ | 140 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | jimmeh | 31 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | emilybuddy | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JearStar | +3.47 | 82 | 80 |
| #2 | シ | +0.99 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | KillThyThee | -0.08 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | ❤ KaRma ❤ | -1.35 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | jimmeh | -1.40 | 79 | 42 |





