








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 785 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2539 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1973 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1869 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2166 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,903 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I am Kitroz | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | break taht bich back | 53% | 112 |
| #3 | Strahotni pusac marihuanu | 51% | 72 |
| #4 | BabyRage | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | 尸闩尸讠㇄ㄖ⼕丂セ闩 | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | break taht bich back | 13 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | 尸闩尸讠㇄ㄖ⼕丂セ闩 | 13 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | BabyRage | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Strahotni pusac marihuanu | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ✪Josip Broz TiTi | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | break taht bich back | 565 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | 尸闩尸讠㇄ㄖ⼕丂セ闩 | 482 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | Strahotni pusac marihuanu | 133 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪Josip Broz TiTi | 96 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ex[X]x3^ | 62 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 尸闩尸讠㇄ㄖ⼕丂セ闩 | +2.77 | 74 | 73 |
| #2 | break taht bich back | +1.62 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | Ex[X]x3^ | +0.47 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | Creqy | +0.39 | 68 | 66 |
| #5 | Unknown | -0.43 | 69 | 53 |





