










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1023 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1516 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 632 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 535 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,212 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AceYS | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Egoist | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | Kotoha | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | joostis | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | mattay | 65% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ユエ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | shark fin soup | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | mattay | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Kotoha | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Marina | 2 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shark fin soup | 360 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | ユエ | 139 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Egoist | 64 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | myangelarisa | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | joostis | 46 | 0.14 | 2 min |





