








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1861 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 537 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4635 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3661 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6658 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4232 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,012,500 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =S|N= Multi | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | decay | 55% | 171 |
| #3 | ELHUNTO | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | DtC | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | kronix | 49% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reyna M@in | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | decay | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | kronix | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | sWiFT | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | DtC | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWiFT | 948 | 0.24 | 28 min |
| #2 | Reyna M@in | 596 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | decay | 548 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | :E | 271 | 0.33 | 7 min |
| #5 | DtC | 233 | 0.15 | 6 min |





