








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 854 | 30% |
| Smokes | 776 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 550 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 633 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $161,071 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHAKA3 | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | ✪ AmuckShadow | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | 𝓢𝓱𝓪𝔀𝓽𝔂 | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | RansZera | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | clncky | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ✪ AmuckShadow | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | 𝓢𝓱𝓪𝔀𝓽𝔂 | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | RansZera | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | clncky | 42% | 19 |
| #6 | Shy | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clncky | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHAKA3 | 126 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | ✪ AmuckShadow | 61 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | Shy | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | clncky | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝓢𝓱𝓪𝔀𝓽𝔂 | 31 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓢𝓱𝓪𝔀𝓽𝔂 | +2.89 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | ✪ AmuckShadow | +1.89 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | 酒醉的蝴蝶 | +0.75 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Shy | -0.28 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | SHAKA3 | -0.76 | 63 | 71 |





