








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 855 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 112 matches | ||
| Wingman | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4822 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4962 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3569 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 744 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,542,552 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HEX: Lobotomy | 48% | 33 |
| #7 | Agent H. | 48% | 50 |
| 45% | 66 | ||
| #9 | vikikle | 42% | 53 |
| 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blun | 21 | 0.0307 |
| #2 | vlckos | 19 | 0.0192 |
| 11 | 0.0210 | ||
| 10 | 0.0084 | ||
| #5 | Agent H. | 10 | 0.0114 |





