








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7056 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6249 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7052 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6277 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,420,035 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1065 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | hENKer | 52% | 153 |
| #9 | PrYxToN ツ | 52% | 79 |
| #10 | ScaryS | 45% | 40 |
| #11 | <3 | 45% | 47 |
| #12 | j0s | 40% | 35 |





