








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 634 | 28% |
| Smokes | 622 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 466 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 563 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,716 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CAJUN | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Tony | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | ~Oblivion | 80% | 15 |
| #4 | -Sharpie- | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Panic | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~Oblivion | 62 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mar (not-toxic for cs2) | 19 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #3 | Panic | 15 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #4 | CAJUN | 15 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | -Sharpie- | 12 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CAJUN | +6.05 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | jfneidert | +4.72 | 91 | 11 |
| #3 | Panic | +4.01 | 90 | 59 |
| #4 | Jersey | +3.06 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | Mar (not-toxic for cs2) | +2.63 | 91 | 43 |





