










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4778 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4195 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4625 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3990 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,382,507 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gameable | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | Apoc ☕ | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Wee Wee dinner | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | Lou Sasole | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Mr. Nick ☦ | 52% | 425 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Nick ☦ | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Don Quijote | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Gameable | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Wee Wee dinner | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | javy | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Nick ☦ | 364 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #2 | Gameable | 221 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | javy | 100 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lou Sasole | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wee Wee dinner | 65 | 0.07 | 2 min |





