








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 707 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1654 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2802 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1215 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,921 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Ehrmantraut | 55% | 66 |
| #2 | jopE | 54% | 229 |
| #3 | aakeq | 51% | 72 |
| #4 | WestsideBaby | 51% | 80 |
| #5 | Aaltsi | 48% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jopE | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | aakeq | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Mike Ehrmantraut | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | WestsideBaby | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Aaltsi | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aakeq | 316 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | jopE | 218 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mike Ehrmantraut | 106 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aaltsi | 101 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | WestsideBaby | 81 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jopE | +2.53 | 94 | 46 |
| #2 | Teme | +1.67 | 88 | 52 |
| #3 | Mike Ehrmantraut | -1.30 | 75 | 47 |
| #4 | aakeq | -2.27 | 58 | 61 |
| #5 | WestsideBaby | -2.72 | 71 | 37 |





