








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1535 | 30% |
| Smokes | 517 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1789 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1220 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,162 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Church of Chovy | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | tk* | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Dr3x. | 57% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Church of Chovy | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | tk* | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Dr3x. | 57% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tk* | 3 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Dr3x. | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Church of Chovy | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr3x. | 253 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Church of Chovy | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | tk* | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Church of Chovy | +3.99 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | tk* | +2.72 | 74 | 55 |
| #3 | Mayonnaise. | +2.61 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Dr3x. | -2.31 | 36 | 51 |





