








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2927 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1416 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1547 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 863 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,794 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kdn. | 40% | 78 |
| #2 | just some panda bear | 34% | 87 |
| #3 | just some polar bear | 34% | 124 |
| #4 | gaggatrondra | 33% | 116 |
| #5 | UnliMiteR | 29% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | just some polar bear | 34% | 124 |
| #4 | gaggatrondra | 33% | 116 |
| #5 | UnliMiteR | 29% | 45 |
| #6 | Meep | 26% | 35 |
| #7 | Shai Gilgeous Alexander | 11% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | just some polar bear | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | kdn. | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | gaggatrondra | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | just some panda bear | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | UnliMiteR | 5 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnliMiteR | 175 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | kdn. | 155 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | just some panda bear | 74 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | gaggatrondra | 69 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shai Gilgeous Alexander | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | just some polar bear | +3.72 | 37 | 19 |
| #2 | kdn. | +3.63 | 58 | 36 |
| #3 | Shai Gilgeous Alexander | +1.17 | 82 | 27 |
| #4 | UnliMiteR | -0.04 | 43 | 40 |
| #5 | Meep | -0.71 | 39 | 18 |





