








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 460 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 304 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1281 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1565 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1350 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,049 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1033 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ceviche | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | finfinattic | 46% | 439 |
| #3 | Shockamaru | 40% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ceviche | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | finfinattic | 46% | 439 |
| #3 | Shockamaru | 40% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finfinattic | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Shockamaru | 12 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | ceviche | 6 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finfinattic | 2637 | 0.28 | 50 min |
| #2 | Shockamaru | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | ceviche | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shockamaru | +1.24 | 66 | 36 |
| #2 | finfinattic | -0.13 | 39 | 60 |
| #3 | ceviche | -0.24 | 49 | 47 |
| #4 | TJ_LEILO/YT | -0.55 | 51 | 25 |





