








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




222 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1427 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5462 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 2338 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1994 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,982,803 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2830 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i hate cs;; | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | Sinh | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | KC | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Darkenswift^ | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | derptones #2016LYFE | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoomBox | 17 | 0.0188 |
| #2 | sex (gay) | 16 | 0.0182 |
| #3 | KC | 11 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | evo | 10 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | derptones #2016LYFE | 10 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoomBox | 322 | 0.36 | 6 min |
| #2 | derptones #2016LYFE | 222 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | SKXFIJI | 169 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | KC | 127 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | i hate cs;; | 119 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KC | +2.12 | 67 | 67 |
| #2 | derptones #2016LYFE | +1.44 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | feelingsopretty | +1.07 | 63 | 42 |
| #4 | Crev | +0.95 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | Sinh | +0.61 | 61 | 50 |





