










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 260 | 31% |
| Smokes | 257 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 121 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 199 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $48,065 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | tioxy | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Mastx | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | dmo | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | shax | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dmo | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | shax | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | Ecl!psE | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | RITZ | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | phz | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ecl!psE | 2 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Hello | 1 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mastx | 27 | 0.40 | 1 min |
| #2 | dmo | 22 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| #3 | tioxy | 19 | 0.40 | 0 min |
| #4 | RITZ | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ecl!psE | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shax | +5.16 | 69 | 79 |
| #2 | dmo | +2.90 | 82 | 50 |
| #3 | phz | +2.59 | 72 | 80 |
| #4 | Mastx | +2.42 | 94 | 75 |
| #5 | RITZ | +2.15 | 74 | 76 |





