








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1295 | 36% |
| Smokes | 731 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 716 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,618 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaNz | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Rutsy | 56% | 81 |
| #3 | N00dLeS | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaNz | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Rutsy | 56% | 81 |
| #3 | N00dLeS | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaNz | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | N00dLeS | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rutsy | 289 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | N00dLeS | 123 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | BeaNz | 83 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rutsy | +9.02 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | BeaNz | +7.39 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | N00dLeS | -0.56 | 26 | 49 |
| #4 | GuiltlesGengar | -2.41 | 30 | 49 |





