








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 612 | 32% |
| Smokes | 589 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 276 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 453 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,380 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoulSy | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | shd:» | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Noiha | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | SVAAAAAAAAAAAAI | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | DarkKnight | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | I LOVE GOD | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | Hegl3R LFT | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | Grotle | 38% | 26 |
| #9 | Negative^-^ | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | GT | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I LOVE GOD | 12 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | Grotle | 11 | 0.0203 |
| #3 | DarkKnight | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Negative^-^ | 4 | 0.0230 |
| #5 | GT | 2 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkKnight | 133 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | I LOVE GOD | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Grotle | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | GT | 30 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #5 | shd:» | 29 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flabb3 | +3.20 | 93 | 47 |
| #2 | Negative^-^ | +3.20 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | SoulSy | +2.53 | 53 | 48 |
| #4 | SVAAAAAAAAAAAAI | +1.28 | 74 | 48 |
| #5 | Grotle | +1.20 | 75 | 32 |





