








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 961 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1263 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1441 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1470 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,107,655 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | vice | 50% | 134 |
| #3 | NoFith | 48% | 155 |
| #4 | EK- | 46% | 200 |
| #5 | Stekis | 44% | 185 |
| #6 | kirminas jibanas | 43% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kirminas jibanas | 97 | 0.0283 |
| #2 | EK- | 57 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | vice | 50 | 0.0190 |
| #4 | NoFith | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Stekis | 14 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EK- | 626 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | NoFith | 468 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | vice | 462 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | Stekis | 316 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | kirminas jibanas | 125 | 0.04 | 3 min |





