








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 353 | 48% |
| Smokes | 44 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 237 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 105 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $77,525 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1m | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | SETT _Trading | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Am1R | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Cupma | 68% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Am1R | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Cupma | 68% | 25 |
| #6 | 𝑭𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒊 | 60% | 10 |
| #7 | GoldenDesert | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cupma | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | 𝑭𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒊 | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cupma | 101 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | GoldenDesert | 56 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Am1R | 44 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝑭𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒊 | 39 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SETT _Trading | +4.82 | 78 | 49 |
| #2 | 𝑭𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒊 | +3.40 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | Am1R | +2.20 | 60 | 66 |
| #4 | Cupma | +1.97 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Cold | +0.75 | 54 | 48 |





