








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1801 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1100 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1472 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 881 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,390 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loco_Ace | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | Tactical Suicide | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Cpt. ICE | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loco_Ace | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | Tactical Suicide | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Cpt. ICE | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tactical Suicide | 5 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | Loco_Ace | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loco_Ace | 194 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Cpt. ICE | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tactical Suicide | 27 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pokka | +3.04 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | Loco_Ace | +0.90 | 37 | 68 |
| #3 | Tactical Suicide | -0.78 | 70 | 52 |
| #4 | Cpt. ICE | -4.96 | 33 | 53 |





