








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2753 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2635 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1573 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1787 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,905 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoju | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | BOT BaNK3r | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | ikonen | 55% | 192 |
| #4 | Havre | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Scaddered ッ | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BOT BaNK3r | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | ikonen | 55% | 192 |
| #4 | Havre | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Scaddered ッ | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | z33b | 49% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BaNK3r | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ikonen | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | Zoju | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ikonen | 533 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | z33b | 208 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | BOT BaNK3r | 150 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Zoju | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Havre | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ikonen | +0.69 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | BOT BaNK3r | +0.49 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | Dom | +0.36 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | z33b | -0.02 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | Zoju | -0.17 | 81 | 65 |





