








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 388 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6669 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5193 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2654 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4739 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,188,906 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 799 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fofner | 59% | 165 |
| #2 | Twenti | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | ☆ caLypso ツ | 56% | 64 |
| #4 | sced | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | adoM | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fofner | 59% | 165 |
| #2 | Twenti | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | ☆ caLypso ツ | 56% | 64 |
| #4 | sced | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | adoM | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sced | 9 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | ☆ caLypso ツ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | fofner | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | adoM | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Twenti | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fofner | 590 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | ☆ caLypso ツ | 166 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | sced | 135 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | adoM | 126 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Twenti | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ caLypso ツ | +1.01 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Twenti | +0.51 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | sced | +0.12 | 61 | 48 |
| #4 | fofner | +0.12 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | c0rb | +0.01 | 75 | 65 |





