








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 551 | 18% |
| Smokes | 415 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1020 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1035 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,100 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quatched | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | ? | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | Edde | 58% | 73 |
| #4 | i can fix that <3 | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Trevor | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | i can fix that <3 | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Trevor | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | Esko | 51% | 102 |
| #7 | Ural-4320 | 47% | 77 |
| #8 | mutsis | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ? | 20 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | Ural-4320 | 18 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Esko | 13 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Trevor | 11 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | Edde | 8 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esko | 365 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ural-4320 | 253 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Edde | 182 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Trevor | 130 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | mutsis | 107 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quatched | +3.18 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | NuuskaMuikkune:D | +1.78 | 66 | 44 |
| #3 | Edde | +1.58 | 57 | 66 |
| #4 | ? | +1.57 | 76 | 38 |
| #5 | i can fix that <3 | +0.98 | 37 | 35 |





