








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




199 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3357 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3080 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5357 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1867 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,358,316 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Likezz | 67% | 83 |
| #9 | .Arre | 66% | 106 |
| #10 | DucK | 65% | 65 |
| #11 | abglover17 | 60% | 62 |
| #12 | f l u B | 58% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f l u B | 265 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | .Arre | 217 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Likezz | 206 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | DucK | 195 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shimi | 192 | 0.16 | 3 min |





