








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 519 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6189 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3462 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 7781 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4154 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,457,071 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 529 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maven | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | XIN CHAO FINE SHYT | 49% | 43 |
| #3 | Kermit | 46% | 56 |
| #4 | draingel | 46% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maven | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | XIN CHAO FINE SHYT | 49% | 43 |
| #3 | Kermit | 46% | 56 |
| #4 | draingel | 46% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | draingel | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Kermit | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | XIN CHAO FINE SHYT | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Maven | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | draingel | 274 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kermit | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | XIN CHAO FINE SHYT | 84 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Maven | 61 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XIN CHAO FINE SHYT | +0.95 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | Kermit | +0.85 | 56 | 41 |
| #3 | Maven | +0.38 | 52 | 45 |
| #4 | draingel | -0.66 | 48 | 55 |
| #5 | the the the the the the the the | -0.68 | 42 | 61 |





