








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1781 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1674 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1547 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1461 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,846 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jOSEPH_de | 53% | 72 |
| #7 | jake | 52% | 42 |
| #8 | Fritos Crunchwrap Slider | 51% | 51 |
| #9 | gnahk | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | SLIME PEEK (SLIMEBALL) | 46% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fritos Crunchwrap Slider | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Dilly Donka | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | jOSEPH_de | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | SLIME PEEK (SLIMEBALL) | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | ColbyC | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jOSEPH_de | 151 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | SLIME PEEK (SLIMEBALL) | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | dingtingler | 68 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fritos Crunchwrap Slider | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | jake | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gnahk | +5.84 | 84 | 36 |
| #2 | jOSEPH_de | +3.25 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | jake | +2.97 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | ColbyC | +2.92 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | Jabbi | +2.20 | 68 | 54 |





