








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 879 | 31% |
| Smokes | 462 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 798 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 696 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,028 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 504 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apriliaeike | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | AndiJBG | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | zK' | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apriliaeike | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | AndiJBG | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | zK' | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zK' | 3 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | AndiJBG | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Apriliaeike | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndiJBG | 107 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Apriliaeike | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | zK' | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckoning-iwnl | +2.11 | 90 | 55 |
| #2 | zK' | +0.64 | 86 | 27 |
| #3 | Apriliaeike | +0.39 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | AndiJBG | -1.00 | 53 | 50 |





