








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4145 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2960 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2090 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3348 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,666 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connor robinson | 76% | 54 |
| #2 | NAS | 62% | 189 |
| #3 | ✪ WhoCanMake ツ | 60% | 122 |
| #4 | ex again.. | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connor robinson | 76% | 54 |
| #2 | NAS | 62% | 189 |
| #3 | ✪ WhoCanMake ツ | 60% | 122 |
| #4 | ex again.. | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAS | 42 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | ✪ WhoCanMake ツ | 40 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | connor robinson | 28 | 0.0284 |
| #4 | ex again.. | 6 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAS | 634 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | ✪ WhoCanMake ツ | 458 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | ex again.. | 159 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | connor robinson | 147 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connor robinson | +8.26 | 97 | 69 |
| #2 | ✪ WhoCanMake ツ | +2.44 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | NAS | +2.04 | 88 | 67 |
| #4 | ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆) | +1.35 | 88 | 66 |
| #5 | ex again.. | -0.39 | 62 | 59 |





